Listen

Last week at church the sermon was about listening. It got me thinking a lot about listening and begin heard. The scripture the preacher used as the main text was James 1 verse 19; 'Know this, my beloved brothers let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. I really like the part of quick to hear and slow to speak. But if you know me well I tend to talk a lot and am guilty of not begin quick to hear and slow to speak. I wont address the slow to anger part that is another post on its own. Am that guilty of not listening a lot and sometimes in conversations am that person who listens to respond instead of listening to understand.

This got me thinking we live in world were being heard is a big deal. We are taught to express ourselves and society values articulate people. But listening is not a skill that is emphasised or praised. I remember my mother  laughing about how we as Africans tend to talk at the same time, she was watching an interview on TV a journalist was interviewing the Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan, most of the interview the both of them we talking a the same time. We it got me thinking most of us want to talk and be heard but we don't want to listen to other people. I have made a decision to listen more, to listen attentively and to be slow to speak. Its something that I have to chose to do everyday, several times a day.


I know that I want to be heard so from now on am listening to others so they too can be heard. Recently there has been talk of the over sexualisation of African/Black woman. I see a lot of these images on tumblr and it got me thinking its sad but its true most of the girls and woman want to be heard, so they are speaking a language that they know will have enable them to be heard. Its just like shouting or speaking loud. Have you met some people who always speak loud. They want to be heard so they speak up all the time. When you are loud no will miss you in crowd let alone try mess with you. I have been there, for a long time as teen I was told that I mumbled and that I did not speak loud enough. Then in an attempt to heard I started to speak very loud. Until I realised that I had a voice and that I could be heard without shouting or being loud.

We all have a voice, some have big voices, some have small voices and we all can be heard. We just have to make appreciate that conversation is a two way street much as we want to be heard we also have to listen otherwise it will be a speech. This week lets try it be quick to listen and slow to speak.

Forgiveness

This morning I could not sleep so I goggled Christian movies and I watched one called Amish Grace based on true story. It was about an Amish community who  their milk man a non-Amish shot and killed 6 girls in their school because he was angry at God. The community leaders went to the man's house that very day their daughters were killed to give their condolences to his widow and to tell her how they had forgiven her husband for what he had done. I thought that was very surprising. I learnt a lot from the movie. One father said that hate was hungry monster that was never satisfied that if you harboured it in your heart it would eat the love in you heart. He also said that hate hurt, so by hating one was not doing themselves a favour.

I really learned a lot from the movie, personally I have struggled forgiving a lot of people for various things. Forgiveness comes for an open heart, as people we don't have it in ourselves to forgive, God enables us to forgive. By surrendering our pain and hurt to God and asking Him to help us to forgive we are able to have peace in our heats. For a few years I have lived in anger , hate and  unforgiving because of people close to me who hurt and betrayed me. God says vengeance is mine. For awhile now I lived with heavy heart because of  anger and hate would surge in my heart every time I saw these people.

Watching this movie made me realise that all I was doing was hurting myself more. Had I forgiven the people in question those many years ago I would have saved myself a lot of heartache and pain. Forgiveness is not easy and its not cowardice. It is healing and self preservation. Most us do not grieve because we never go past the anger stage in the grieve cycle. So we never get to the stage of acceptance that would help us move on. Forgiving its a process sometimes in a day one has to forgive the same person many times for that one hurtful thing done to us. Forgiveness is conscious effort, letting go and acknowledging the hurt and working towards healing.

This post is dedicated to people like me who have been hurt, betrayed and other bad things that have happened to you that are causing you pain because you have not forgiven people or even yourself. Take time to acknowledge the hurt and make a conscious decision to release the hurt and pain from your heart. Then your will feel the burden lift of your heart. we have so many burdens that we carry in our hearts. Do not let  unforgiving clouds your heart.

Forgiveness is not pardon it does not mean that by forgive you are making the wrong done to you right, but you are forgiving the person the trespass they have committed against you  are removing the hate and angry so you can work on healing and dealing with your own pain. By not forgiving we are adding on to our pain. Do your heart a favour forgive. After I released the prisoners that were in my heart I feel free, now I have peace when I see them I don't cringe, interestingly enough I can pray for them. I am free and my heart is much lighter.

Violence Against Women

Its sad the society that we live in. Yesterday and the whole weekend social media all talking about the Rosie Motene incident. What really broke my heart were all the comments that most women where making. Then there was the in studio interview with the alleged perpetrator. Man says on national radio "I know better that you can't hit a woman in club. Hehe! That's royal bull, he did not says does not hit woman he said he does not hit them in public. Its Sad world we live in.

During my lunch break I was standing next to a woman with a blue eye, one lady says to her that looks painful. She said her eye was not painful and the lady said " O bo omo dirileng" ( what did you do to him). She did not respond, the lady said to her next time you should shield your face, one does not look face up in violent situation. She responded to say she did not expect to be hit and it was her first time begin hit. This conversation got me thinking, that we live in society that expects violence against women that woman tell other woman how to "deal" with the situation. Where man can go on national radio and say I hit woman just not in public.

Woman who are insensitive to woman in abusive or violent situations like those who were mocking Rosie, think well I get punched and slapped all the time who is she that one punch in the face lends her in the front page of newspaper and trending on social media. Violence is quite common. You hear woman cheering on a man beating his wife or partner :mmetse o tla baka ( Teach her a lesson). Its sad that we woman don't rally
together in these issues how to we expect the men to support us .


All though the 16 Days raise lot of awareness let us individual start by talking about the issues and addressing it. Personally am all talked out. Action and education are what is needed. The Police are getting there is terms on attending to reports and sensitivity towards victims.

I STILL RISE

 This poem describes just how I feel!

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou

 

I still rise indeed thank u Maya

Aging Gracefully

I have never considered my self to be vain. Well I find vanity very unattrative and rather irritating. When my 21st birthday came I was very excited finally I was 21 I could own land in my home country, I could get married without parental consent, I was no longer a minor etc. Twenty one was dizzy year. Then all of sudden I was going on to 22. Then I got scared I was getting old. In an attempt to stay younger I would celebrate 21 year years in row. Prior to this I had no problem disclosing my age. Now when someone would as how old I am I would ask why they want to know, woman do don't reveal that their age and so on. The I was 25 well was go gear I mean quarter of century, some ages i did not like  26 nothing cool about that worse still 27.

28 was about hectic I lost my grandmother a month into my 28 year. Well her passing away was quite sudden one moment we were having breakfast and chatting, then she was not feeling well. After a brief visit to the clinic she was home sleeping then next we check on her she was gone. The came the funeral arrangements etc. Then it was all a blur. I spent the whole year or most of it grieving cause I realized how I lost so many people in my life but had never really taken time to grieve and acknowledge the loss. Then I realized age was just a part of me and who I am. Then I made pace with my age and getting older. 29 has been a great year, what I love about getting older is the comfort I have in my own skin.  I know what I want and love my life.

As child growing up I was never one to fit so as adult I have intention of changing. Am where I want to be in life. Where I am is a result of my choices which i have made and do not regret. So am not going apologetic for my life or my circumstances

 Six days to go until my 30 birthday am so excited, why because I finally get this aging thing, loving it and embracing it.

God is wonderful he has kept me for 30 years, lavished me with love and blessing, given me a great family and wonderful friends am blessed and highly favored indeed.

Count Down To 0

Wow
Its almost here! Well am not to sure how I feel. When I was younger 30 year old people were very old. Now am almost there but I feel, very young. Am just planing the events to celebrate 30 birthday. any suggestion?

Mission

So after trying really hard to ignore my love for all things Taiwan and the country  its self. Now am past my denial, I have accepted that I really love Taiwan and would like to live there. So the only way to go live in Taiwan is to study there. So now am documenting my journey to apply for Master scholarships so I can go back. Here goes.